Have you ever told yourself “I love you” and really meant it?
Sometimes, it is really frickin hard. Try standing in front of a mirror and repeating, “I love you”, over and over again. This can feel super awkward but it is a powerful way to check in with how you are feeling about yourself.
I spent a lot of my life dis-accomodating myself, not giving myself even small doses of what I REALLY needed in order to truly be my best. Not loving myself enough to acknowledge what I really needed to do for myself and having that be ok. And by dis-accomodating, I mean choosing to not make time and space for thinking about what I needed and then slowing down to create space so that it COULD happen…naturally inviting that self-love into my life.
That system worked quite well for a lot of years but when I reached a new decade a few years ago, I decided it couldn’t continue. There had to be more and I could definitely be better. I didn’t want to care what the moms at school thought, or who is doing what better than me on social media. The idea that I was not driving in the direction of my best me and what I LOVED, was causing excess worry, anxiety, and especially overwhelm. Just spending too much time consumed with what not in alignment with what was actually most important. That feeling of never being truly relaxed and at peace inside. I feel like a lot of us know how that feels.
So, I committed to then new, consistent and gentle ways of learning to really fully accommodate what I needed.
I invested in courses and certifications that were truly aligned with what I loved and thought I could figure out how it all fit later.
I engaged in volunteer activity that was truly in line with my passion and professional background.
I committed to making my eating and physical activity super high priority so that repeating the patterns became easy and just what I do.
What I found was that it didn’t take away anything from what anybody else needed. It didn’t have to be EITHER I have what I need OR THEY have what they need, it turns out it can be BOTH! And by THEY, I mean your spouse, kids, co-workers, family, community. What if I accommodated what I needed and then I could better accommodate or support what someone else needed too?
But how do you even know how to accommodate yourself if you don’t really know what you need or want? For me, it started by learning to REALLY TRUST AND LOVE MYSELF. While a long way from perfect at it, I am regularly practicing ways of connecting to things I truly love about myself and my life and I feel more engaged and proud of myself as a result. Maybe this is a way that you can also connect to the true love of yourself :
THINK about some things you are passionate about, things that really spark your shine or feel really good!
CREATE a list of the things above that you would like to do in the short (1 - 6 months), medium (6 months - 2 years), and longer-term (> 2 years).
CHOOSE just one. Pick that one thing that you cannot be without or do without, and call this your Passionate Obsession.
Then ask yourself, what 3 things can I do now, in order to make that one thing happen.
And the final question, what do I need to let go of in order to make room for this new thing?
I have found that passion - and new LOVE OF MYSELF in my coaching, volunteer commitments, and in my spare time - family fun, playing the piano, lunch with friends, golfing, reading, skiing, running, teaching a fitness class. I LOVE it all.
So, wishing you a day when you can begin to fall in love with yourself and what you do. Have a beautiful Valentine’s Day celebrating yourself and your love!
