Finding the perfect gift is an art and a science…it requires the use of both right and left brain traits! It takes a lot of creativity, insightfulness, intuitiveness and artistry but it also takes analysis, detailed planning, efficiency and speed! When we are out there Christmas shopping for the perfect gift – battling crowds, blowing our budget, & generally being annoyed and annoying, do we ever ask, what is the perfect gift to give MYSELF this year? What gift CAN you give yourself and why does it even matter?

I thought long and hard on this and found I have treasured a LOT of gifts of the past! One of my very clear, earlier memories was when, ah, I wanted this Ms. Pac Man game machine…really bad! Mom said repeatedly that she didn’t think she could find it and then tada…one day before Christmas, I found a wrapped gift in one of the spare closets! And I could see right through the wrapping paper! Wow, this is it, I thought, the Best. Gift. Ever!  

But alas, as life goes on and we get older, we may find that some of the most precious gifts aren’t things we can even buy - love, faith, family & friends! So, even though the profoundly powerful experiences that shape our lives are often shared with others, when I reflect, I feel most thankful for one of the best gifts I have given and continue to give myself. It’s something I am endlessly grateful for…letting go.

Letting Go of the idea that… 

1. I have to have everything figured out before I can move forward

   Not knowing is scary – faith and fear both require it, but we get to choose what we do with that. Do we stay stuck in our fear or ask, what’s the worst thing that can happen, know that the worst is unlikely to happen and move forward anyway.

2. I have to say yes to everything or I will disappoint someone

   We can choose what we say yes to…we actually do have a choice. And it feels really good when we do it. I was really intentional with my precious volunteer time in the last couple of years and I am so proud to say yes on purpose!

3. That everyone else’s opinion of me matters more than my own

   I spent a rather large part of my life caring what other people thought…about everything…what I say, what I do, what I wear, how I parent, you name it! But what I have found in the end is that everyone else’s opinion of me is none of my business and guess what else? All those times you think they are thinking about you, they really aren’t, they have their own crap to deal with!

4. That everyone else has everything figured out and I don’t

   Sometimes it seems like everyone else has a plan, a path, a purpose and that they are all more aligned than us! When I actually started to focus on my own future plans, I realized how much time I was spending thinking about other peoples’ plans - and where exactly was I going with that? Nowhere near what I wanted for my own life!

5. I am not capable of achieving what I want

   I don’t know when this became my reality…but it took a long time to accept that I was fully capable to achieve what I most want. And if doesn’t materialize in just that way…so what? So what if I don’t get to point A? What if point A becomes points A, B and C? What if there were way more options out there than I originally thought? OR, what if I was a B+ in action rather than an A+ in my mind?

6. I can create new things without clearing the clutter of the old

When we want new things, we have to make room for new things, just like buying new furniture. What would the room look like if we bought the new stuff and retained the old? What one thing can we say goodbye to that is no longer serving us well, in order to make room for what we now want instead? It is ok to be ok parting with things and behaviors that are no longer wanted or serving us well.

What if letting go was a more strong, brave and courageous act than hanging on tight? Letting go can be scary and sometimes hanging on is more familiar and comfortable. Fear is a reaction, courage is a decision - we get to make a choice this Christmas and every day. What will you decide to let go of this year? What is that thing that is no longer serving you well? Will you give yourself the gift of letting go, trusting that you will be ok AND you are capable to have what you most want for you & your health? Sounds like magic…what a gift!